


Always [Erwin Smith x Marie]

by alispropriisvolat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Feels, Commander Erwin Smith, Drabble, F/M, Heartbreaking, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Erwin Smith, Past Marie/Erwin Smith, Past Relationship(s), Pining Erwin Smith, Possibly Unrequited Love, Short One Shot, Soft Erwin Smith, Thanks, Unrequited Love, Warnings May Change, but i know she's a redhead, erwin and marie appreciation pls, even though i don't even know marie, i love them, like she just gives off strong redhead vibes, more erwin and marie, not sure why but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:53:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29770944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alispropriisvolat/pseuds/alispropriisvolat
Summary: His eyes catch her's one last time. There is a small smile between them and one final, unspoken word.Truthful, and real, and plain.Always.
Relationships: Marie & Erwin Smith, Marie/Erwin Smith
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Always [Erwin Smith x Marie]

Slowly, Erwin drags his senses out of sleep. 

His surroundings come together in a messy smudge of sterile, sick-smelling colours. 

The familiarness of a hospital room settles around him in its usual smells, its usual colours. 

And there is that obligatory presence of pain. It fills the emptiness of his sleeve. Then his head. The onslaught of memories emerge from the painkillers — unforgiving, and sharp, and bloody. He sees the deaths on the battlefield again and feels the weight of his guilt, building, and building, and building. 

Erwin sits up. The sound of his heartbeat is spilling out of his chest. His breathing is panicked and scattered as it slips from his lungs.

Then he hears the blurry syllables of his name — a soft, brown-eyed whisper approaching. 

The room puts itself back together; reality settles back in its proper places. 

And she's there, sitting next to him — Marie. 

At first, he thinks that maybe it's the painkillers, making him see things. But painkillers aren't supposed to cause pain. 

His tongue traces over the familiar taste of her name. For the first time in a long time, "Marie," he murmurs. 

"Hi, Erwin," she says. "I heard what happened and I just... well, I came to see how you were." 

He leans against the headboard then gives her a nod. "I appreciate it." 

He lets silence settle between them. And he thinks that she should leave now; he knows that she should leave. 

But he finds himself selfish enough to look back at her and think that maybe, just this once, she should stay. Just for a small moment. 

So he says, in a small laugh, "I haven't killed myself yet, Marie. Maybe on another expedition, when things actually start going as planned." 

She looks up at him, smiles back. And her laugh is close to follow.

Erwin watches the sound fill her features, the quietness of the room. He feels her laugh fill him — an old, warm happiness from the past. It felt good, to laugh with her, to be selfish enough to laugh with her again. 

"You know," she says, "you might've fooled everyone with the commander's uniform, but you haven't changed much. Still doing stupid, reckless things." 

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended." 

"Neither, Erwin Smith. You should be worried. The hospital staff is probably so sick of seeing you that they'll refuse taking you in one day." 

He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, laughing. 

There's some form of contentment — warm and kind and maybe, still slightly medicated. But it's nice. He feels it hang languidly from another moment of silence. 

"It's nice seeing you again, Marie," he says. "I hope you're as well as you seem." 

She smiles at him. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

"It has," he murmurs as he glances at the wedding ring on her finger. 

It had been a very long while. And there is a searching of words, to fill the distance stretched between them, in that small hospital room. 

She suddenly laughs as she takes a bottle from his bedside table. "You've been promoted to commander and you still drink the same cheap whiskey?" 

"It does what all whiskey's supposed to do," he says.

She unscrews the cap and the magnificent stench of alcohol stings the air. He watches her wince at the sip she takes. 

Her voice comes back tattered and burned. "It's still awful." 

He laughs and takes a drink before handing the bottle back to her. "I don't remember you complaining about it so much." 

"You were still a cadet. I was a barmaid," she tells him. "We couldn't afford anything better." 

They laugh again, before eventually falling under the nostalgia of past memories. 

Her voice is faded when it comes back. "We were beautiful together, weren't we?" 

He smiles. Then admits, very quietly, "Yeah. We were." 

"For a long time, I couldn't forgive you for joining the Corps. I was so hurt for so long. And I was afraid that if I ever saw you again, it would all come back and I'd just breakdown all over again. It's why I stayed away." 

"Marie," he says, "you don't have to." 

"No, I do," she tells him. "Erwin, look at me." 

And he does. She's brown-eyed and red-haired, carmine-lipped and rose-perfumed; as beautiful as he knew her. Her tears are like crystal as they roll down her pretty sadness. 

It fists with his heart and he can't help but reach out to wipe the tears that have fallen from her crowded eyes. His knuckles brush against her cheek. Then, selfishly, his fingertips. 

He watches her and sees it so obviously, in the way that she closes her eyes and sighs — that nothing had been forgotten between them. She still leans into his touch and the side of her face still fits in his palm. 

And god, Erwin wishes that it could be like this, always. He still wishes that, even as he pulls his hand away; like he once had to, so long ago. 

"You don't have to explain anything, Marie," he tells her softly. "I understand." 

"I want you to hear it though," she says as she wipes her eyes. "I tell my children the stories you used to tell me about the world beyond the walls. It gives them hope, Erwin. And I know that I'm able to do that because you're out there fighting for it with those..." she trails off to smile, "with those stupid, reckless, brilliant ideas of your's. I want to say thank you." 

He feels her hand find his and her eyes are a brown-eyed sincerity. 

"I'm grateful for everything you've given me," she tells him. "And I'm grateful for what you continue giving me and this country. I'm sorry for not seeing that sooner." 

He shakes his head and smiles at her. "There's no need to apologize or to thank me. I'm simply where I'm supposed to be. You are too." He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and watches his hand fall away. Then, in a whisper, he says, "But I'm glad I got to have shared even just a small part of my life with you, in the same place at the same time." 

She kisses his forehead. "So am I, Erwin." 

Then she pulls away and smiles. And the rest of the words are there — as truthful and real and as plain as they've always been. 

And he knows; he knows they both know that the words will always be there, between them, even as she gets up to leave. 

_I love you._

Truthful, and real, and plain; just in the wrong place at the wrong time, where it's far too late and far too complicated for those three simple words. 

But his eyes catch her's one last time. There is a small smile between them and one final, unspoken word. 

Truthful, and real, and plain. 

_Always._

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a long while back when I was a sucker for Erwin and Marie stories. Now I'm back as an absolute sucker for Erwin and Marie. So much potential, so many possibilities! And the feels are just -- they get you so badly but so good :") Please tell me I'm not alone here?
> 
> Thanks once again for taking the time to read this piece. Hope you've enjoyed it :) As always, questions, comments and concerns are greatly appreciated. In the mean time, take care everyone! xx


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